Monday, December 31, 2007

2008 goals

To conclude 07 hasnt been too bad, but life can only get better. 08 will be the best year of my life. Poker will continue to be my profession as I pound the books. I will have my 08 goals posted soon. Stay positive know and feel what you want and it will become. Everythign we dream is possible IS.

As promised I will outline my goals and desires for 2008, in no particluar order.

  • Transfer to a four year college.
  • Get in the best shape of my life.
  • Move in with the love of my life and our son.
  • Continue improving my poker game while steadily moving up the stakes(see poker blog).
  • Enjoy every moment of every day.
  • Reduce my alchol intake to next to nothing.
  • Travel.
  • Learn to surf.
  • Eat and live healthy.

I probably could come up with a few more but this looks pretty solid. I may examine each goal and discuss how it will be achieved later. Today is my last day of being a drunken bum so i am sitting here drinking beer. I am very excited about 08. This is going to be a great year. May you all have an awesome New Year!!!

P.S. Be safe, dont drink and drive.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Life is what you ______ make it.

Who didnt know that? For most of my early years I chose to struggle. I was always in trouble in school or with the law. I never truly enjoyed living much and many times considered suicide. Now this isnt some sob story or attempt at inspiration either, just the cold hard truth. It took a real fucking scare to shake some sense in me actually. That scare was a short stint in juvy. Losing my freedom made me realize just how precious it was. That was when I was 17 and hear I sit nine years later. I would like to believe I am a different person. I dont consider life to be a struggle like I used to. I welcome evry new day and enjoy the small things in life. Basically what I am getting at is, "life is what you choose to make it." From this point on I will choose to live an amazing life.

I have always been on and off some form of diet and excercise, unfortunately I opted to go on an eating bonanza to end 2007. Said bonanza has packed on more wieght then I would like. I am actually somewhat uncomfortable in my own skin and will be making a serious strike at getting back in "beach" shape. I will be back to 200lbs or less asap. School will be starting again on the 17th of January and I have 3 classes left at the JC. Yes the JC. My plan is to be said and done with college pre 29. This gives me a little over two years to get it done.

Poker has been a rough and rocky road but a true blast. I would have never thought I would be playing the game so seriously when I 1st started at 19. I didnt achieve the goals I set for myself but I didnt do to bad. I envisioned myself beating the 400s for a solid win rate at this point but I am currently at the 200s. To have made it from 25NL to 200NL in a 9 month span and turned a $100 deposit into over 20K isnt to shabby. In no way am I disappointed and I did get fortunate to hit the bad beat jackpot for 5.6k. To be honest the real struggle was exactly what this blog is about. I chose, unknowingly, to make poker hard at times. A few bad bluffs mixed with a few bad beats and I would begin to doubt my abilities. Even lately I have struggled to just believe in my skills. I know I have what it takes, and then some, to beat this game at any level. This in no way means I will be taking a shot at higher levels outside of my bankroll. Banroll managment has been the key to my success and will continue to be.

To conclude 07 hasnt been too bad, but life can only get better. 08 will be the best year of my life. Poker will continue to be my profession as I pound the books. I will have my 08 goals posted soon. Stay positive know and feel what you want and it will become. Everythign we dream is possible IS.

I am a Warriors fan and I do believe!!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Unbalanced

Basically I feel my life has lost balance. Not that it is such a bad thing but sense I opted to take the semester off from school things havent really turned out the way I wanted them to. Poker has been very swingy and basically break even. I think in large part to me trying all sorts of different styles and things. Honestly I think I hit a bad patch and paniced thinking I needed to make a dramatic change to my game which has hurt me. I have decided to recapture my true style hich was winning. I have also been on and off at the gym and good eating its been insane. It can be so hard for me sometimes to stick to a healthy life style. Lets just say it is much easier when you eat alone. Basically I am going to mainly try and stick to eating healthy and getting some good excercise until Jan 1. Then it is on like donky kong again. My target weight is 195. Right now I fluctuate between 210-215. What can I say I love a good pastrie. Oh and pizza and burritos.

So in life outside of poker I finally got me a new car. Well new for me that is. 1998 Honda accord. Hopefully this car will last me 10 years or until I am so baller I buy a new one. Signed back up for college as well. That starts Jan 10th and I am looking forward to it. Three more classes and then I am done at the JC finally. My goal has always been to get a degree before I turn 29 and I think I can still accomplish it. Also waiting on my 2nd new computer. 1st one had Vista and I couldnt stand it. Once I get th new one up and running I will be a force at the poker tables. Right now I still am but my comp can cause tilt every now and again.

Poker and life are very similar in that without balance I dont think one can perform optimally. This is something I must work on now and in the future. Maybe I will writr about how I plan n dong so soon.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Eye openeing

RE: Downward spiral

I cant explain exactly what I was feeling or why but what it was wasnt good. I had been real down on the world in general and looking at things from a half full perspective. When my insane downswong occured it made me take a step back and rethink my thinking. Usually the tone of my blogs is upbeat and optimistic. This is how I try and see the world otherwise why the fuck live, really. I wasnt doing that early last week. I was down on society and the world around me.

Sometimes I shelter myself to much from the world around me. To be honest I have no fucking clue what is going on in the news anymore. I basically live eat and breathe poker when I am not spending time with my girlfriend and her son. It isnt a bad life, slightly unbalanced yes.

I have decided to start doing a few extra things for me besides just poker. In order to excel at poker like I desire I must commit a good amount of my time to both playing and studying. This does not mean it must dictate my life and keep me from enjoying social events and interacting with my friends and loved ones. All work and no play isnt fun.

Ok so basically I lost my train of thought. What I am trying to say is I need to get back to being positive win, lose or draw. Poker results shouldnt ever dictate my mood, good or bad. Its just work. yes I am happy when I do my job well. To be honest though I should always be doing my job well and even when I do it excellent I still might lose.

Outside of poker I need to enjoy every moment of every day to its fullest. I remeber once I posted that life is about having fun. If you arent having any what the fuck are you doing? If I was born to be miserable and feel like shit all the time then I might as well buy a gun and end it. That is the truth too. This life is way to short to not enjoy every fucking minute of it. I am so guilty of allowing myself to forget this concept. Hopefully by writing it here it will stay in the front of my mind.

To sum it up. Suck it up! Life is only as good or bad as you make it. Remember you choose your path, choose the fun one. I dont care who you are, where you are, or what your life is like right now. You are the only one who has the power to make it better. Choose to live like a King or Queen. You deserve it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Downward spiral

WOW! I am in utter shock at the 180 degree turn my poker game has just taken. I was ripping and roaring and ready to have the best month ever this month. I started off with a solid first week and was sitting on $3k+ after Friday night. Then it all came crashing down. Who is to blame? ME!!! I have to really look in the mirror here and figure out what the fuck I am doing. This is honestly the worst I have felt mentally in a real long time. To be quite honest I am in a weird place right now. My life is great in so many ways yet sucks too. My problem is my mind never stops. This is one reason I drink too. After a horrible run at the tables I cant stop beating myself up. My mind goes through the losing hands over and over. Drinking numbs that. Seriously it is sick when I lose I have trouble being happy away from the tables. It seriously effects me.

OK so i am going to try and see this from a positive point of view. I have been here before and I fought mty way out of it once. This just makes the reward that much better. As bad as I have been playing I am really only down 500 bucks on the month which I have nearly made in rakeback. Also I do take full responsibility for my play but the cards have not been very giving over this stretch.

How I will come back? Strong and with fierce aggression and a positive frame of mind. I know I have the skills to beat this game as I have proven it time and again. I will refuse to booze. I will study that much harder and work to improve the leaks in my game. This is my fault and no one elses. I will overcome.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Constant evolution.

If we arent constantly advancing as individuals and striving for improvments what is it we have? Should we become content with what we have and simply exist? I dont speak of this in the literal sense like your typical consumer. I dont mean fancying bigger and better cars and homes and clothes. Granted those are all good things to want but I speak more mentally and phsyically. Some items might be necessary in order to achieve those things such as my new computer I will be receiving in the next day or two. I also acquired a very nice office set for free today which I am quite pleased with. I love craigslists. Granted I didnt get them there but I believe it played a factor in this furniture being on the sidewalk for free.

To be honest I dont know WTF I am talking about. This similar to a previous post actually. I have a gorgeous GF and amazing little guy in my life who I love and adore. Our current living situation isnt ideal and rather then be content with what we have I desire more. I have had a fair aount of success playing poker and could be content with the level I am at but I am not. I am not overly obese and actually some might say look good, but I am not content. I feel I have a semi strong spiritual understanding but I am not content. Ok enough!

What I am saying is to become complacent and satisfied with your current state isnt horrible. Shit it might actually be heaven on Earth. I am not there yet thought. When I look around I see many who are content and you know what, I dont see that much joy and happiness. What it all boils down to is a question I ponder often, maybe to much. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Again and again I come to the same answer. To enjoy every moment I am alive and continue to better myself and those around me both mentally and physically.

With that said I have been having loads of fun in the last year but I feel certain areas of myself have been neglected. I need to spend more time connecting with mother nature. I need to get back in good physical health and stay with it. I killed it when I did my brothers 6 week plan but since then I have packed it all back on. I need to remove anger and hate from my heart. I need to stop passing judgment on others as we are all equal.

If you have vomitted in your mouth reading this I do apologize.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Life update.

I love my life. Honestly I do. When I was young I battled with depression and lack of true motivation to live. I struggled to understand why we are here. I saw the worker bees gridning through a week just to make the weekend and then wake up and do it all again. Oh they get there 2 weeks vacation once a year, if you can call it vacation. This wasnt what I wanted from life. Us as humans were not put here for that reason. I dont know the reason. If you ask me I truly appreciate the Indain way of life. I cant say I truly know it but they lived off the land and were in harmony with mother Earth.

Currently I have found an occupation which allows me to do what I want when I want, for the most part. Also I have come to a great understanding of myself and the game of poker. If you look back on this and my other blogs there is a direct correlation between alchol and my best and worst months. August I didnt drink at all and I killed it. September I started drinking again and I got killed. I dont directly blame alchol but rather myself. Alchol weakens the brain and in order to excel at poker you need mental strength. If you cant stay strong mentally when the cards are going against you cant succeed at poker. This game is about mental toughness and making proper decisions that will have a profitable result in the long run. Mental weakness can take over and cause you to become results oriented and seek instant gratification. This isnt what poker is about. I have been boozing this month with mixed results and it wasnt till I had my breakthrough that I have decided to keep a close eye on my consumption.

October has been a great month starting with me hitting a 5.6K badbeat jackpot on the site I play at. This gave me a big bosst of confidence because I instantly had a huge bankroll and could take a shot at 200NL again without fearing losing. Since taking my second shot I have won back the 10BI's I dropped last month and then some and am feeling very confident in my ability to play winning poker at that stake. I look forward to continue success at 200NL with 400NL right around the corner. I apologize for the randomness of this post but that is how my mind works.

BR $13500<---from $100 deposited in late Feb.

Monday, October 1, 2007

A new month

The Tao is like a well:
used but never used up.
It is like the eternal void:
filled with infinite possibilities.

It is hidden but always present.
I dont know who gave birth to it.
It is older than God.

"Infinite possibilities." This is the human life. Life is filled with infinite possibilities yet it is up to us to keep knocking on doors and opening them. This is actually something I was thinking about the other day and I related it to my Mom and Dad. They are two totally different people. Basically there are so many different peopel in the world buit I think in reality they all fall into two different categories. Well atleast in America as I see it. On one hand you have the person who finds their nitch and comfort level and accepts it and lives their life safely and content. On the other you have the person who is always hungry for more and is never satisfied with their life as it is. They are constantly searching and seeking more.

Is one better then the other? Can one be both? This is the harmony I seek. I seek to be content with my life as it is yet motivated and driven to always search for ways to improve the areas which might be lacking.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Tao Te Ching

If you over steem great men,
people become powerless.
If you overvalue possessions,
people begin to steal.

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion in those who think that they know.

Practice not-doing
and everything will fall into place.

Try that shit on for size! When you take a real close look at these words and make an attempt to apply them to the modern world at first it may seem like a joke when in reality there is so much truth. I am not the know all end all of Tao and nor do I pretend that I understand what it is that is being said in each passage. What I do know is that each individual will interpret the words and apply a meaning to them which coincides with their life. In are society where noone ever stops and breathes to practice not-doing is uimaginable in its literal sense but there is much merit to this idea.

My interpritation is that we as a people give to much power to material things and allow them to drive us in life. In truth it is fucking disgusting. I am not innocent. I too desire beautiful things. Who doesnt? Allowing material objects to become the driving force in your life will allow them to control your well being. True happiness isnt having everything you wish for, its wishing for nothing and having everything. "Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place."

Monday, September 24, 2007

Its been too long.

I havent posted in ages and to be quite frank I feel I have lost that positive edge I was carrying around. I dont quite know where it went. As I write this I think it might have to actually do with drinking again. Sounds kinda crazy but everything in my world was on the up and up. Cards were running great, was gearing up for my last semester at school and then I started drinking again. Crads feel to shit and I opted to take the semster off. Quincidence? Mayeb, maybe not. Either way there is no excuse for me behavior and my lack of positivity. Do I have everything I could ever want in life? Of course not but who the f%$k does anyways. For me life is still pretty sweet and I know with the proper frame of mind I can do what ever I want and achieve whatever it is I want.

This month has been my toughest month of poker yet and this could have a lot to do with my struggles spiritually as well. Its truly a challenge to stay positive and up beat when the cards run as bad as they have. For those who arent in the know about poker I will display one of the many evil hands I have run into this month for your viewing pleasure. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1513877 It is doubly devastating that my struggles have occured as I attempted to make a move up. What that means it that basically all my wins and of course loses double in value. I dont doubt for one minute my ability to beat the next level and will continue to make shots. At the same time it is demoralizing to move up and play your best only to have 22-1 long shot spike his 2 outer on the river for an $800 pot.

With all the crying done I will have you know that even though it may sound like I am losing my house I am actually ahead for the month in all aspects of my line of work. I have several sources of income besides the raw earnings from my play. I have begun coaching a fellow player at a rate of 25 an hour with 4hrs of coaching a week. Also I have done a solid amount of relaod and RB. My bank roll as actually grown while I have suffered the toughest dry spell of my career. Current BR standing, $9367. That is +$1914 from my last BR post on 8/27 so not so bad at all.

Throughout my journey I have continued to set goals for myself and yet I have continually failed. I am not a failure. I will succeed at poker, life, and above all being happy. From this moment forward my goal is to play poker to the best of my ability and not allow the outcome of individual hands effect my emotions. I will dedicate 4 hours a day to playing poker and another 2 to some form of study of the game. I will continue my gym routine and add in some solid cardio. I will get back on track with my eating habbits. I will lighten my alcohol intake. Please pause for I must open a nice cold beer(Kamahl you had Anchor Summer Brew?) ah cold beer. Anyways I dont know precisely where this is going but I havent written forever and that could be another thing. This blog has helped me in a major way and I have neglected it. I love you blog. Please take me back. I thank you faithful reader if you have reached this point ansd please pray that next time I get it in best I hold.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

August stats...

see new poker blog. Link on top left.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Another blog

Well hey if you cant maintian one or two or three, why not add a fourth. Peep the link on the left. Oh and I have updated my 65BB blog. Take a peek.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

StevePavlina.com

Amazing web site, equally amazing guy. This is from an article he wrote on time managment.

"The word "enthusiasm" comes from the Greek entheos, which means literally, "the god within." I really like that definition. I doubt it's possible to master the art of time management if you aren't gushingly enthusiastic about what you're going to do with your time. Go after what really inspires you. Don't chase money. Chase your passion. If you aren't enthusiastic about your work, then you're wasting your life. Switch to something else. Consider a new career altogether. Don't beat yourself up if your current career has become stale. Remember that failure is your friend. Listen to that god within you, and switch to something that excites you once again. The worst waste of time is doing something that doesn't make you happy. Your work should serve your life, not the other way around."

I highlighted the last two sentences because I think that is some powerful stuff. Check out his website. http://www.stevepavlina.com

Monday, August 27, 2007

Quick update

Life is fucking beautiful! I decided that rather then take the spring semester off from college I would take fall off instead. Now I can focus 100% on what I am passionate about at the moment, poker. Have been way busy trying to get moved in to my new house and out of the old. Hope to be all done with the old place after today which will be nice. The new house kicks ass too. I have my own office where I will be working aka playing poker from. The diet has been going great except I kinda cheated this weekend when I boozed and ate the most food ever in one sitting. Went to a Volpis here in town which is this old Italian restaurant i beleiev where the servings are insane. If you order family style you get; soup, salad, pasta, and then your main course which comes with veggies and polenta. I felt like taking my main course to go I was so full when it got to me. Also you get ice cream and coffee. So fucking crazy. On Friday when I hopped on the scale I was down to 202 from 213. That is 11lbs in 5 weeks and I am packing on muscle too. If your lucky or not so lucky I guess I might post some before and afters as I had my girlfriend take phootos of me at the beginning and will have her take two more at the end of this week. I think it will be interesting to see the difference after 6 weeks. Lastly thought I would throw a quick poker update. After the decision to form a new poker crew my game has taken off. I havent been playing as much as I would like and probably never will but I have been playing my A game almost every session and the results have shown. I am currently turning in my best month yet and look to continue improving as I move up the ranks. I will be moving up to the next highest level sometime early next month as my BR grows. I have slowed my growth due to withdrawing money but I feel it is necessary in order to see and feel my accomplishment as well as pay the bills. Shit as Dice says " I got kids in the rain."

BR-$7453

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I fell off!

Well I didnt quite make it to the end of August but i think I did about 30 days. Was at the Rage show and decided to have some brews as it seemed the right thing to do. I got a solid buzz off about 5 or 6 heineken. Then Sunday I had a 22 of Sierra. Oh and I had a few heineken yesterday as it was super hot and I was moving. My landlord had some beer in the fridge and said I could help myself so I did. The diet is still intact though and I will be consuming very carefully. No more insano all night binge and blackout nights for Mr. Rafalo. The new house is kick ass yet it isnt complete quite yet. Last update, I have opted to take the fall off from the JC and focus on the game of Poker. I feel this will be best as i need a break and I have been doing well at poker but without a complete dedication to the game. Once I am set up at the new house poker will be my focus and I will be doing big things. Later for now.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Tao Te Ching-2

When people see something as beautiful, other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good, other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesnt possess,
acts but doesnt excpect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

Honestly I really dont know where this is going but it has some real power behind it. I interpret this as you cant have one without the other. The thing is this in a way is saying who needs either. The final passage to me is the essence of meditation. Stopping the constant thinking and feeling and just letting go. Sitting still and allowing your mind to become still. You become in tune with the vinbrations of the world around you and truly feel what it is to be alive. People get so lost in their day to day activity that they miss out on the simplest beauty, the world around us.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Announcement!!!!

I have another blog. I have decided to take my poker thinking to a new blog. See link on left.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I am a thief!

Well sorta, I read about a book of essays coming out on the Tao Te Ching(tarnslation The Book of the Way)originally written by Lao-tzu and decided to incorporate a similar idea into my blog. I will start my daily blogs with one of the 81 writings and go from there. This is a experiment and may conclude prior to 81 days but we shall see.

1: The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name taht can be named is not the eternal Name.
The unnamable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things.
Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.
Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same source. This source is called darkness.
Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understandings.

What does this mean to me? Funny, before I began writing today I was thinking; "ignorance is bliss" just randomly. I think this is along those lines. I revert back to the fine example of the animal kingdom and how gracefully they interact and coincide. Lions are very capable of killing as many gazelle as they want yet they only kill that necessary to satisfy their hunger allowing the others to graze peacfully without disturbance. The majority of society doesnt see this simplicity in life and abide by it. We want more and more even though we havent even used what it is we have. I am not free from this fault. This weekend I bought 6 new books and I have plenty of books in my possesion which I have yet to read. This has to do with desire. We so desire to be admired and accepted by others. I personally have striggled my whole life to simply accept myself and truly I believe we all are at the core. How can others accept you for who you are when you are being who you arent in order to be excepted? This life is a journey and we are constantly learning as we grow but the vast majority of information we discover is wrong. The hardest thing to do is actually unlearn all the bullshit we have become believers in and live outside the box of societys ideals. Like I said will use Tao Te Ching as a smple stepping stone to my random rants. Hope this made a bit of sense and can be an inspiration to some. If you arent tied down or settled in and are capable I say save some money and take a risk. We only get one shot in this body to live, make the most of it. Fuck th boring as societal grind that is change it up. Break the fuck out. I declare toady that I wont be a suit. If I do join the business world post college it will be mine. Working for me will kick serious ass too.

I say what people think.-Noeledge

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

3 weeks and counting.

Thats right yall no booze in three weeks. It has been quite easy actually and I feel great. Also this is my 3rd week in the gym as well as on a nice healthy diet. In the process I have begun to build a machine. My body and mind are becoming fine tuned machines. Poker is all I think about currently as school doesnt start for two weeks and I am loving it. It is so amazing how unlimited poker is, one decision can be thought of and made millions of ways. This is what makes it so amazing to me. The new crew has been slowly developing and hopefully that too will become a fine tuned machine by months end. If you are clueless here click the UF2B link at the top left.

NOW THE BIG NEWS!!!

I am moving! Yeah! My own house baby! Well Scott and I will be living there. It is a nice 2bd/ 1ba behind Petaluma High. Have a backyard as well as a home office. Everything will be brand new when we move in too. New paint and hardwood floors. Should be crazy nice. In September we will be having a BBQ. Thats it for now.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Ok so maybe a little

I just wanted to end the month by looking over July's goals as well as set some new ones for August.
"My goal is to listen to my reads and go with my instincts this month. No more questioning myself as I find I am right almost 100% of the time. By months end I would like to be playing strictly 100NL and have doubled my BR. I would also like to learn as well as help others learn through this challenge."
I feel I accomplished my goal. One other goal was to play 25-30 hours per week of poker which I failed to do. Honestly the whole poker crew and interacting via blogs and aim and voice chat was huge. If you are a beginning poker player this can help elevate your game so fast. I mostly went with my reads except for one off week which really hurt. This week I am back to trusting myself and I am working on not only trusting my reads but acting on them. I did double my BR but I also withdrew for bills and just to reward myself so its current position is $5818 and I withdrew 1200 this month I believe. I have moved up to only 100NL and feel comfortable. Lastly, I feel I helped some of the lower stake grinders improve and hopefully this is the case. Now on to my goals.
August:
20-25hrs per week, finish reading Sklansky's NLTP, interact regularly with my new group; including weekly sweats and intensive in depth studies of poker concepts and theory, lastly continue to trust my reads and instincts and constantly be narrowing down my opponents hand ranges has the hands progress; a major tool I will utilize is I will attempt to acquire notes on all villains at my table. If I follow through with these I feel by September I will be properly rolled to move to 200NL and continue my progression.

NO MORE POKER...

in this blog. I fooled yall. So as I stated in a previous post i will be moving my poker discussions to a different blog, this blog will return back to its original form with mostly my thoughts and daily stories. Speaking of stories, I am ass hurt because my stupid cell phone wont work and I feel helpless. It is amazing how dependant I and America as whole as become of our electronic gadgets. My waking hours would be nothing without this very laptop computer I am typing on. I use it for almost everything.

WTF have I been doing right? What is new with me besies poker you ask. Let me tell you. I have begun my intensive excercise and gym routine with the help of my brother which is awesome. He has me on a pretty strict diet so my taste buds are seriously on vacation. Last week I was limping around due to the leg workout he has me on but I have recovered well and my legs feel great this week. No booze, thats right it has been 2 weeks and counting sense my last drink. I am moving too. Well no where far but Scott my old roomate and I are in the process of looking for a two bedroom house in town. My niece is walking! It is crazy. That little girl is something else, I mean she is jamming too. My girlfriends son Marcello is getting bigger every day and is talking so much now it is insane. I better stop swearing I guess.

Some thoughts. Well I took two summer classes and aced both of them. Fall semester is to begin on the 20th and I am just unsure of school, always have been actually. Learning is great and then there is the idea of having a degree helps to get that good paying job but is that the case. Look around, I know a slew of people with degrees who work a job that has nothing to do with their field of study. College is obviously important but sometimes I just wondering if it is for me. I will be taking 3 classes this semster and applying to 4yrs aswell and I guess I will just have to see how that goes.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Just the facts.

The ups and downs of poker. You can see the tough week I had last week where I made $4 over 6500 hands.
My position stats, the button OWNS. Oh and because I am such a nit in UTG and MP yet am a donk in CO and BTN I got payed off on my big MP hands as you can see.

Not a bad month results and money wise yet I am disappointed with my hours played. 72.62 with a sick true hourly win rate of 38.20 per hour. I wanted to close out July with two last hands. The biggest pot I lost and the biggest pot I won.


Loser: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1321405 Gasman is a solid TAG/LAG who I knew had a set here and some how some way I donked off my stack to him on the turn. This is money that should be in my BR still. It isnt so easy to see it when it happens but those big folds can really add up at the end of the month.


Winner: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1321409 WOW! What a fish. How the fuck does he get it in on the river? Look at the pot up to then. LOL, thankyou!


Looking to finish strong.

One day left in July. I am working on a lot of things poker wise and feel this has been the best month yet. My game has grown and the improvments I have made are in large part to my crew and the work we did together. Unfortunately some contributed more then others and you know who you are. In response to this me and 4 others from my crew have created a new closer nit crew who will look to improve at an excellerated pace and really take over the poker world. Are new blog can be found at http://unrecklessforce2b.blogspot.com/ it is still in the beginning stages though. I apologize to those who arent included and I wish all of my ex-crew members good fortune in the coming months. I will still be posting here but my blog will be more life oriented and taking on its original form as a place to put my thoughts. If anyone wants to talk poker please Aim me at Barne69224@aol.com as I am always open to talk poker with anyone any stake or skill level.
I played a nice long split session last night and have two hands for discussion. The first hand comes from a sweat I did with Dice. This kid is good and has some serious potential and I am glad to say he is part of the unrecklessforce2b. I took Dices line here and I feel this might be a 100BB stack play. Playing 200BB deep is a different feel and game, One that I would love to see more of from the CR pros in video.

The hand: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1319995 villian is 67/17/.9 I dont believe at the time his numbers were such. They were showing at 43/2 maybe when this hand played out. Obviuosly sample size is small. When raised on flop I think most times a call is correct but I almost felt if I 3bet this spot I define my hand and am done. This probably is not the best choice as i am folding out worse hands and building a pot if I am beat or he has a draw. Also I will OOP for the rest of the hand. The turn play is where it gets sticky. I think this is a clear fold. Dice suggested a call as he felt villian was bluffing a draw. We had trouble narrowing his range here. In discussion with Alex(dwarrior) he makes a great point that his turn bet narrows his range as most draws would check behind. So in essence his turn bet screams fold 99 is done. I call and check the river and he bets half pot. Easy fold right? Can I call? What do I beat?

Other hand: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1320022 villian is 19/9/.76 at the time I believe his PFR was lower like 7. I almost dumped preflop as I told Dice I felt villians range here was almost always ahead of AQ. I opt to call and I hit top pair on the flop. He leads (dont remember his cbet %) i decide to make a small 3x feeler raise and he calls. This is where I think I can go Jman and start to think what range villian thinks I have. He has me on I say AK-AT and PP that maybe hit a set as well as SC that flopped a Fdraw. I played real fast and check behind on the turn which may have been a mistake. Could I bet big here repping a set? I am ahead of all of villians range except AK so I might check and keep worse hands in. I have his range at JJ-AA with AK-AQ too. I doubt he plays this passive with AA or JJ. Now the river. Is there any value in betting? Essentially am I turning my hand into a bluff?

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Playing passive...

I dont know why. But it definately sucks.

Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1312465 This villian was frustrating me a little and I was waiting to trap him with a big hand as he was floating all my cbets and then leading on the river when I had nothing, it was sick. Ok his numbers are 50/12/1. Two questions with this hand. !st I felt he didnt make the flush but rather hit and Ace on the turn, should I shove here? 2nd can I call this sick river?

Hand 2: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1312471 I really donked this hand, villian is 43/2/.65 over 80 hands at the time of this hand I had no hud numbers on her. I decided to just call with the Tens as I do this maybe 5% of the time but probably should just always raise. Then she leads for pot? I figured I was best and this is probably where I should put in a raise and find out. Then the same bet on the turn and then the river shove? What to do?

Friday, July 27, 2007

Power of positive thinking.

Murdered it! $591 over 1100 hands or something. Finally, back to playing good poker. I mean shit I still lost some sick coolers and came out way on top. I am in the green for the week. I am disappointed with myself for playing so poorly during the week. I was riding a high from last week and it was like I forgot how to play solid ABC poker. To update too my BR stands at $4950 with a boat load of bonus money pending too. I think I am going to do like $730 in reload bonus this month. I have also withdraw $1200 so far this month for bills and what not. I feel it is necessary to withdraw otherwise what the fuck I am doing this for. Oh and this is my sole source of income and my kids gotta eat.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I only have myself to blame.

I have been playing with my head up my ass! I have been on autopilot resorting back to my donkey days. I mean fuck last night I call off 100BB when I know the only way villian shoves is with a set. Everything said set and guess what he had? A SET! The mistakes have been piling on and bad play mixed with some pretty shitty cards spells disaster. Honestly I dont blame badbeats or anything like that. The cards have been just plain nasty but I should be breakeven this week at worst. Twice I have bluffed into quads last night for 200BB, just disgusting. Ok now some of the tougher hands from today (my day isnt over, looking to turn it around tonight).

Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1304930 Villian is 57/14/.65 over only 30 hands though. Honestly I have said time and again that post flop minraises are monsters. Can I check the turn? When he min raises should I pitch it or call and fold if he shoves the river? Or do like I did and shove?

Hand 2: Is this happening again? Sorry couldnt hide results. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1304953 villian is 56/12/.43. Honestly I think I am a fool to bet the turn and when he shoves I have to dump it. Whats your line here?

Hand 3: I might be ill. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1304965 power is 21/12/1.5 and vigilante is 53/15/.62. This was such a sick spot and I hated powers smooth call the most then I get raised. WTF? Can I call? Should I shove?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I have huge donkey balls(humor post).

These are just some examples of me going insane. Twice it payed 3rd time not a charm.
1: This is how you make duesces work,LOL.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1301262

2: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1301258

3: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1301215

I have been donking it up.

Been a rough week in more then just my poker world. Have been taking aggression to far and not heeding my own advice. I like most my plays preflop and on the flop but then I get this I have to win this pot mentallity and it backfires. I bluffed 100BB stack with AQ high into quads, pretty sweet. Anyways here are some of my tougher hands from the past two days.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1300381 This is the whole history and a fine example actually of how well 3betting light can work. In all honesty if he misses this flop and I cbet I take it down. I am pissed about my river call and am curious how bad my turn play is? Villian is 26/15/2.5 over 1k+ hands. Honestly I feel after I check behind on flop I should be done with this hand. When he bet turn I didnt have him on K and thought he might be bluffing a draw, I think I just was shooting for this guy though and that is always bad.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1300411 Villian is 49/11/.89 can I call this ridiculous river shove? I flopped the nuts and then shit just went haywire. Counterfitted and then a backdoor flush gets there. I dont know if he makes this play with a 7 or a busted flush draw. What to do?

Villian is a total donk who runs at 62/19/.78 I had a note saying he limped big hands UTG and had caught him limping earlier with QQ when my BB 65 flopped trips and he payed me off the whole way. Here I flop bottom two and think I have him trapped again but I dont know maybe he limped AA or TT here or is he just overplaying the fuck out of AK? He seems way to passive to be min raising with just one pair I mean he didnt but one raise in with QQ. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1300436 are you calling, shoving or folding?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Poker theory. Real long.

In no way do I take credit for any of what I am about to write. These are mainly ideas and concepts which I have read, watched, or heard from others and have molded into my style. When I 1st began playing poker like most of us I was a losing player. This didnt last long. I instantly felt this game could be beat and I bought 4 books that night. I told myself I would not play until I read at least one and I began applies the concepts I read. I started out at 3/6 limit hold em playing like a rock. I pitched PP into the muck preflop to a raise I mean I was a nit but I went from being in debt to having 10K in my bank account from working as a waiter and playing poker. This was in 2004 right when Moneymaker caused the poker boom and my has the game changed since then. I have played as high as 50/100 limit and 5/10NL live and had success at both but I knew I was missing something. I am a firm believer that poker is a game of skill that can be beaten but it takes discipline and mental toughness as well as a strong sense of feel for the many situations one will encounter. It was late February when I stumbled upon Cardrunners.com and my life will be changed forever. being a super nit I still had this aggressive streak and no fear. I would bluff with nothing if I felt I could take down the pot. When I saw my 1st video and the aggressive position game they were playing it clicked. I had been playing the game all wrong.

Position: it is talked about in every poker book written yet I dont believe any of them convey the concept as clearly as the CR videos do. It is one thing to read it and another to see Muddy raise 85s on the button, get called and cbet the flop with air and take it down. That is position poker. The key to playing good position poker is not only position but aggression. It is rare that I will limp the CO or button in a 6max game. When you limp you arent heard, and we want to be heard. Raising says look at me I have a hand be afraid, as well as folds out a lot of hands and limits the field. Now that you have been noticed and defined that you have a hand your position has strength. When checked to a cbet will take down the pot more times then not. Will this work every time, NO but in the long run this is a profitable play. I am to lazy currently to do all sorts of math and what not but here is the theory. You raise and take it down right there X number of times=profit. You raise, get called, cbet and take it down X number of times=profit. You raise, get called, cbet and lose X number of times =loss. You raise get reraised and fold X number of times=loss. You get the point. What should be seen here is that X number of times you win and X number of times you lose with all sorts of other scenarios taking place. The number of times you win will out weigh the number of times you lose and you will profit. Also raising has another effect. It frustrates the limper who is trying to see cheap flops. Eventually you will played back at and eventually you will have the goods. Hopefully the two coincide and you stack your opponent.
This is where 3betting light has the greatest effect. Now dont get the wrong idea and think I am 3betting any villain anytime I have position I am very selective. I believe villains with PFR from 12-20 is prime suspect to 3bet lightly as there range is any PP and a bunch of SC and broadway cards. When I 3bet lightly I am looking to take it down preflop or on the flop with a cbet. When I encounter resistance of course I have to continue with caution and I am looking to make a disguised monster. What my 3 betting truly does though is gets inside my opponents head. If I show down a marginal hand such as J9suited they are instantly frustrated and lose all respect for my 3bet, this is when we capitalize. 3betting light definitely isnt easy and takes some adjusting to know when and where to pick your spots. One problem I think low stakes players make is deciding what hands they will 3 bet with and how they make there decision. At some point you have to forget the cards you have and start to think about what your opponent has. Also think about is reaction to your 1st 3bet. From experience when you raise with 77 and get reraised you arent happy and lose confidence in your holding, I know I do. So in essence you could have 42off in this spot and the villain in this spot will be hard pressed to set mine 1st off if you 3bet enough and if he decides to call he is most likely check folding all but the perfect flop for his hand. This is something I think many fail to realize. When 3betting light I tend to avoid trouble hands that if called we might share cards such as KJ,KQ,QJ. I prefer to 3bet with hands like 109-67suited and mid PP too. Mid PP is debatable as I know many rather choose to set mine but I think you might gain more value from 66-99 by 3 betting these hands. For one your hands is the best hand preflop alot of the time. Also when met by resistance your hand is disguised well and set mining truly holds value as you know villain has a hand he wants to continue with post flop. Also you have taken the lead in the hand and even if he holds an over pair he will check fold all but great boards for his hand.

The last thing to take away from position/aggression play is controlling the pot. This is a fine line we must walk and where many fail. Just because you committed a nice raise to the pot does not mean you cant fold. The key is to create an image, and then use this image to get payed off when you have a monster. There lies the secret. When I raise with junk or 3 bet with junk I am looking to win a small pot most of the time unless I hit the flop hard. If I am met with resistance I will wave the white flag and wait for the time when I have the goods. Remember keep them small unless you know you are best.

Ex:
1-http://www.pokerhand.org/?1292542 Villian is 38/19/1.15
2-http://www.pokerhand.org/?1292563 Villian is 51/16/.88
now I get payed
3-http://www.pokerhand.org/?1292574 villian is 51/16/.58, this might not be a perfect example but you see how I get payed off by JJ here. I think we can all agree that we would pitch the Jacks at some point in this hand or at the lest raise and try and define are hand somewhere along the way.

To conclude in now way am I the know all end all of 3betting. I do believe that is an essential weapon to have in your arsenal. I also believe that it has been a huge contributor to my insane week last week and I hope to continue to use it and expand upon the concepts I have disgussed today. I apologize for the sometimes all over the place thoughts and hard to understand read but I have tryed my best to convey what I believe to be truth.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

My stats


Not a bad week. I owe a thanks to Alex for helping me get my stats up for you all to see. Obviously I ran insanely well and my aces are 100% this month. I do take some of the credit though as I feel my game is evolving. The crew has been huge for me. Thanks for the sweats and feedback. I hope I too can be impactful on your game. I still failed to reach my goal for hours those week and am disappointed in that. I know that even though this week was great I made several mistakes and missed value in certain spots and I look to improve and build upon what I have. I dont want the word to get out but I seriously think Absolute is swimming with fish lately and they have 200BB. If you join the darkside please dont forget me for rake back. If interested let me know.
Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1285068 Villian is 55/5/.2 over 60 hands. I felt he wasnt on a better hand then 88 preflop and had him on AK or AQ. My question is why didnt I 4bet? Yes I got it all in best and the river sucked but should I have maybe gotten it in preflop or possibly forced villian off AK? What is your line preflop?
Hand 2: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1285074 Villian snap called on flop and I figured him for a flush draw. He checks the river and I am semi perplexed and almost check. Was a value bet right? I felt he may have PP or a Q.

Friday, July 20, 2007

WOW!

I think the deck hit me in the face today or something. I mean insane! I wish I knew how to post my PT screen(DODGY help me!).

Hands-1208 VPIP-16.8 Won-853 BB/100-35.31 PFR-14.4 TotalAF-4.94

I dont want to get ahead of myself, but I feel it coming together, yet there is so much room to grow. I feel I am playing my A game yet my game isnt near as tight as it can be. Like I said I will be rereading Sklanskys masterpiece Theory of Poker as I want to get a real handle on EV and Implied Odds and much much more. What a sick day though. I credit it to the three bet and my hyper aggression. Also I caught some nice cards. Here is the light 3 bet paying off.

Ok so not so light but a nice aggro play from the BB. Villian is 20/15/1.75 and actually seemed pretty solid. I saw him on multiple tables with deep stacks. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1281778

Literally next hand, http://www.pokerhand.org/?1281781 honestly I got fortunate in this spot but I doubt I et this action without my 3bet the hand before. So sick!

Here is a hand I am unhappy about. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1281784 is there any reason why I dont value bet the river? I had a note on Wild and after I read it I had him square on AQ only problem is I didnt know what Bana could have in this spot as he was an 80/5/1 donk. I think i have to bet this river and extract value and if Banana hit the 5 that is just my fate. As it turned out the 5 was my out and I didnt even know it.


One more tough spot. Villian is 45/14/1.2 http://www.pokerhand.org/?1281788 I feels so weak dumping to his min raise but his range has me crushed. Is a better line to check call and see what the turn action is?

This is just to show that every hand didnt go my way.http://www.pokerhand.org/?1281793 I did make the right call here though. I am learning to trust my instincts more and I just didnt see him touching this flop and felt I was best plus I had the backup gutter if I wasnt.

One last thing. This is a an awesome quote from Bobby Baldwin out of Sklanskys TOP.

"If you are an excellent player, people are going to draw out on you a lot more than you are going to draw out on them because there simply going to have the worst hand against you a lot more times than you have the worst hand against them." Now in Sklanskys words, "As Baldwin implies, expert players do not rely on luck. They are at war with luck.They use their skillz to minimize luck as much as possible."

That is something to chew on and think about when you get badbeat.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A few hands from my session.

All is well in the poker world for me. I think I still lack the simple fundamentals of the math game and think I will be rereading Theory of Poker as I continue to work through NL Theory. I decided this after reading this, http://cts687.livejournal.com/2006/04/23/ . Crazy thing is this dude is a fucking baller now and he was grinding the same stakes as me a little over a year ago. He didn't get where he is by slacking. This dude was in college studying Math and Econ and on the side Poker. To really be the best you can be at something you have to give everything you have got and then some. Anyways here are the hands.

Villian is 49/12/.65 I decided to C-bet figuring if suth shoved I would call with 2 overs. Instead he pitches it and Mancini snap calls. Turn is good and bad as I pick up more outs unless mancini has made a flush. I check behind and decide to see what the river brings. Bang! Nut straight and he leads strong. WTF? Can I call?
Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1280147

Villain is 81/0/.77 when he weak led I felt he had a drawing hand and in hindsight I should have raised stronger and made him pay to hit. The turn is just fucked because it completes the straight and is an over. He leads almost pot, WTF?
Hand 2: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1280153

Villain is 87/62/2.75 over 16 hands though, he was a maniac and went bust 10 hands after this one when he shoved with top pair no draw on a monotone board against a made flush. Hindsight i think I maybe should have gambled here and shoved it as there is no telling what hand he takes this line with and the likeliness of him having a better hand then mine is slim. I just hated that he called my 4 bet cold after min raising. WTF?
Hand 3: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1280157

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Observation.

In no way what is written within meant to offend or upset anyone. I have noticed from my sweat sessions as well as through responses on my blogs that some of you are playing scared. I mean this in the nicest way. Its like you raise with JJ and an Ace flops and you instantly are done with your hand. Come on aren't we CR members. Aggression OWNS! The key to this game is playing aggressive. Stop fearing your opponent and start making them fear you. Use position. When we have position we are in charge, we dictate the pot size, we decide when to take a free card, we fucking OWN! I know I too have fallen victim to the scare card and playing scared when the cards haven't been falling in place but this is a mistake. Honestly take 5 dollars and play some micro stakes and just raise like crazy just to get a feel. Or do like me and go for it at your regular stakes and adapt from there. Since my crazy session where I was 3 betting and 4 betting I am wide open and it pays. I was doing a sweat earlier with Mirrorobin and he saw exactly what the light 3 bet can achieve. He had 3 bet several times when he picked up AA and 3bet again. He was 4 bet and I instructed him to simply call and C/R the flop which I believe he had planned on doing. He gets it all in against QQ for 150BB I believe. This is the power of aggression and a maniac image. I mean you don't have to go ape shit but fucking live a little. Know that a CO or Button raise isn't always a great hand and 3betting light from the blinds will be +EV. Think about how you react to a 3bet, your opponent does too. Do you really need cards to 3bet? Chew on that!

I love my mod!

And the sick results! Was stacking donks left and right 23 bb/100 over 850 hands, just sick. I made a recent withdrawal of $600 and my currently my BR stands at 3558 w/$440 in pending bonus as well as 325 of Rakeback which should be in my account no later then tomorrow. It goes to show what positive thinking and practice as well as sheer determination can accomplish. I am no where near where I want to be though and this is only the tip of the iceberg. The mod is amazing, it makes the game so much easier and AP look a million times better. At first I wasnt sure but after three hours of play I have adjusted and it is awesome. Here is a libnk to the mod. I used the black mod which is down below in the thread like 2nd to last. There is no picture it just says how he found glitch and here is the new link. I think the grey table might be nice too.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=11075629&page=0&fpart=1&vc=1

This hand was just strange. I liked this flop and was feeling like if he raised I might just go with it. After the smooth call I decided to take the free river and see what it brought. Also I thought it might induce a bluff and I was calling almost any blank river. Instead I get there and he check insta shoves. WTF? Villian is 72/18/.9 http://www.pokerhand.org/?1271781

Monday, July 16, 2007

I mean it this time!

So in the past I have spoke of cleaning up my act and not drinking as much but this time I am for real. At least for the next 45 and some odd days. I have decided to not drink through the month of August as a sort of experiment to see how I feel and as well how I look. I have put on about 10 if not 15 pounds since this time last year and I woudnt mind losing it. With the help of my brother I wil be starting a new diet and excercise plan in the near future so hopefully this will happen.

In poker news with the help of Alex(dwarrior) I have modified my absolute tables to the awesome all black table with color coded cards. I am yet to play with the modification but I believe this will be helpful for multitabling as it really softens the glare that comes with absolutes horrible software as well as makes it impossible to miss if you have a fush or not. Havent played since my last post but I am looking to do about 30hours this week and hopefully get some more sweat sessions in as well. Again my aim is barne69224(dont ask).

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Quick brag post w/ two marginal spots.

Friday nights are the juiciest at AP, it is sick.

Why you dont slow play aces, http://www.pokerhand.org/?1263602

Villian is 71/31/1.3 and had made this play earlier against me when I held 33. Could you make this call? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1263611

Do you call here? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1263620 villian was 69/15/.57

Do you call his turn bet here? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1263625 villian is 71/9/.9

Sorry no details the girlfriend is here and I have to go. Yall be good now you here.

Friday, July 13, 2007

I can play like a donkey too!

So I have been reading all about 3betting light and right before I hop into a session I read a 2p2 thread about blind stealing and basically raising the shit out of the button. Anyways I get in the game with this crazy mind set to play real aggressive and man did it backfire. 1st table I sit at I get 72s in BB and flop flush. HU pot I pot flop, over bet turn and river only to be called by 89s for a better flush. Next hand 88. Suited board no 8 I bet flop insta call. Turn, insta call. off suit 8 on river hello set. I over bet like a donk. Honestly if he doesnt beat my set I doubt he calls unless he has a PP and puts me on a bluff. Yup he turned a set of Queens. Insta stuck, ok regroup no big deal. Table breaks and I attempt to regroup. Was 3 betting way to much and even made some insane 4bets when I was 3 bet. After all was said and done 4hrs 1000 hands
-190. Not too bad. I did have a few suckouts when I got it in ahead so even after donking the shit out of it and feeling out the 3bet and 4bet play I am not that disappointed. Here are a few of my failed attempts.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1259112 me thinking I am muddywater. Honestly my play wasnt that bad in my opinion just probably unessecary. Also this guy was a super fish as you can tell by the call I could have just picked a better spot.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1259115 insane flop play. min bet reraise? WTF? Can you say no FE. I simply should call and check fold my missed draw.

If only i was always thinking through hands am playing them this well. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1259116 Villian was 45/9/2 or something. It checks to the river and I decide to value bet as I feel I have the best hand as this point and might get a call from JJ or 1010. I didnt think the C/R villian had the goods as he was pretty agro and I dont see how he checks all three streets with a better hand then me.


When 4 bets go wrong http://www.pokerhand.org/?1259119 , http://www.pokerhand.org/?1259121 .

After looking at just how poor I played tonight I did pretty fucking good all things considered and I got to play in some insanely sticky spots which will help me for the future. What a fun fucking job this is. Even if I lose money when I go to work. I may have lost 200 but overall this session was way +EV. Figure that out.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

A quote,...

I read this last night and it struck me as something along the lines of what I had written two days ago.
The Greta Deception
The birth of a man is a birth of his sorrow.
The longer he lives, the more stupid he becomes,
because his anxiety to avoid unavoidable death
becomes more and more accute.What bitterness!
He lives for what is always out of reach! His
thirst for survival in the future makes him
incapable of living in the present.
-Chuang Tzu

Where my homies at?

I havent been hearing much from my core crew. WTF? Dwarrior and LuckSOB big props for the sweats and I cant forget my boy Edsweden for the sweats and the rake referal(still waiting). We are just getting started and I have seen insane improvement already. The blog experiment kicks ass but I am way more stoked off the sweat sessions and the theory talk via skype and AIM. If you arent a part of my core crew and want in let me know. Link me to your blog and I will return the favor as well as attempt to comment and do a sweat. Its funny as I hevnt even played much yet this month but from sweating I have seen a shit load of hands still. My stats(sorry no nive image, if you know how to do it I would appreciate you cluing me in) 4858 hands +792 BB/100-6.65 VPIP 16.80 PFR 13.77 Total AF 3.86.

Here is the funny shit I am crushing 100NL for 15.6bb/100 and losing at 50NL for -7.82 bb/100. Very small samples and the product of some bad play against maniacs at 50NL as well as a few bad beats. Actual playing time this month is 21hours definately not enough. School is done and I got the A. Now I plan on acing poker. Hopefully I can get back on schedule and start playing 5-8 hours a day. Now to some interesting spots from today and yesterday.

Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1256056 why I love absolute poker, villian 75/12/3

Hand 2:http://www.pokerhand.org/?1256059 weak tight? Villian 33/3/0.75. At the time I figured I either shove or fold as there is no reason to call due to stack sizes. Also with his preflop raise so small this looks like JJ-AA w/AQ-AK mixed in. I can beat 2 of his possible holding and tie the other but I dont think he takes the min raise line without the goods. What do you think?

A brag and yet a concept too. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1256067 villian is 30/7/0.8. I was being sweated by LuckySOB and Edsweden when this hand took place. I was quite concerned by the check raise here as it was very strong and felt he was very likely limp calling w/PP here. I decided to call and revaluate the turn. When he checked I decided a turn was bets for pot control as I wasnt certain my hand was best and I rather not play for stacks at this point. When the river is a blank and he leads I have to call. Honestly I think I played this hand perfect but maybe not. Please if you see another line do tell. The concept? Is villians check raise a horrible line? Not in my opinion. If I have KK or weaker I might pitch it not having a large number of stats and any read on villian. The leak here is his river bet and something I know I found myself doing a lot before now. When he bets the river he is only folding out weaker hands period. So if villian puts me on some busted draw why bet? There is no value to be gained as I am not calling. This is such a spew that a lot of beginners dont catch. Think about your bets for 2 more seconds before you click that mouse. What is your intention? What value are you gaining on the river by betting? What does your opponent hold that you can beat and he will call with? Wish I had more hands and I probably due but I am embarrased to post the really bad ones and show just how poor I play sometimes and also I already know I shouldnt call his dam river bet.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

WARNING: This might be long.

Thank you faithful readers for having faith and being kind enough to support me through all my endeavors. Clicking those silly ads really does make me money, please don't be shy. I have loaded my blog with poker as of late as this is mainly what has been ruling my world and will continue to from now until whenever. Even though poker is my main focus i still ponder other things and I know how much you enjoy reading of them so I have decided to dedicate this blog to those of you who could give a rats ass about poker.

I 1st want to apologize for talking your ear off about bad beats and big wins that you could care less about. 2nd I want to thank you for not telling me to get lost when I do. 3rdly I want you to know that I care.

Why are we so worried? Is life that scary? As far as I know life is pretty fucking simple and easy especially if we stopped being so worried about what the future will bring. Life is now, people! You don't have tomorrow without today. Embrace the now. This is much easier said then done obviously but it is some real fucking shit. I know I waste way to much time worrying about nonsense. This is a hard habit to change but one that we must in order to open up and realize that this life we live is a privileged one. All are awesome technological advances are that awesome yet they have shut us off from each other and the simplicity of living. All I really need is some food and water and clean air to breathe everything else is really just a luxury. Look at the animal kingdom. In places where we haven't gone and fucked it up the food chain is in effect. Animals live and die and nature takes it course. It is an ongoing cycle and it is beautiful too.

This brings me to deodarant. WTF? When did the whole concept come into effect? Why cant I bathe daily and let my natural odor be? Is it not natural?

My brain hurts

Just played for four straight hours and made 160. Thats all? I stacked a 200BB deep player at 100NL and had some other nice all ins yet I feel like I didnt play good. I mean my 100NL play was superioir but I got owned at 50NL. PtBB/100 21 @100NL -20 @50NL. Just sick. Had some major donks that I kept c betting and it was just stupid poker.

Here are some hands even though I almost was going to wait to post till later. I will post some hands now and tomorrow try to write a thought provoking blog.

This shows how sweet the Absolute action is. If you plan on joining please get rakeback through raketherake.com and use me as your referal. They have some great freeroll tourneys and they have been prompt on paying on the 15th every month. You cant go wrong as the rake is not affected by sign up and reload bonuses. If you sign up give them my referal code please it is RTR13686. Ok enough shaless plugging now the hands.

Villian was 22/2/0.6 http://www.pokerhand.org/?1249767 what I am wondering is basically this, do I raise bigger on the flop? Honestly I doubt he is folding this draw. Can I fold to his donk turn bet? I really was pissed I called river. I just think it is a huge leak as I can only beat a bluff basically. I knew he was going to show me the A of spades too. This might be just a variance hand and my leak was not getting away from it I am not sure?

Is this a spot to get it all in? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1249780 villian is a nit running 17/11/3 I guess not too nitty. I think I will run his range through pstove and check this one out. I am really trying to find good spots to push big draws. Was this a spot and was my draw strong enough?

Maybe here? Please ignore outcome as I couldnt get it to hide the results. Looking at it now I think I just call flop raise and if I hit yeah! If I miss hope he donk bets or pitch it. What do you think? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1249787 at the time I dont think I thought through his range enough.

I have so many more I could post but I will leave at these. Thanks for all the feedback so far as well as the sweat sessions. I am not sure how impactful they are just yet but I think they have really helped to get my mind turning over each hand and have gotten me to start truly thinking deeper on the game.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Slow week

So I havent played all that much this week do to this being my last week of summer school as well as 4th of July. I did have a nice sweat session with Dwarrior today. Everything started out pretty good and then I had some tough spots occur. One thing I noticed about sweating for me is that it keeps me very level emotionally. I have almost zero tilt factor even though I am yet to get into a monster pot and lose during a sweat. Here are some of the interesting spots.

Hand1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1240262 very small sample on villian and he is 66/38/1 my question is was there any value in my c-bet? How do you play pre and post flop here? Basically I felt AK was best preflop and I was hoping he would shove and I could call. Instead he calls I flop air and he is a short stack. WTF to I do now?

Hand 2:http://www.pokerhand.org/?1240278 villian is super nit running 10/7/2.3 his call preflop raise was 1. I dont know if I was influenced by Dwarrior sweating me on this hand or not. Is calling his 3 bet standard? Would betting this flop be so bad? Is this an easy fold on the turn or should I have bet folded?

Hand 3: Is this a standard fold? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1240288 villian was 13/8/2

That is all I got. I was going to play tonight but I think I will be taking the night off. If anyone will be around next week and wants to do some sweat sessions let me know. Next week I look to play 30hrs of solid grinder status poker. I cant wait for summer school to be done. All poker all the time, yeah!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Thank you!

Just wanted to say thanks to all the CR grinders who have been commenting and giving feedback. Please keep it up. As for the last two hands I posted I wanted to tell you all the outcome. When I check raised with the AK I had decided to call a shove before actually check raising unfortunately he turned up with 65 off. I dont know if my line was that bad as villian might make this play with a flush draw or TPWK. The AQ hand again I think I should have gotten away from this hand on the turn when he raised but I think my coldcall preflop was not a bad line. Instead of folding I shoved and he turned up Q8 for two pair.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Day off

I will be taking tomorrow off therefore no new hands or responses to others I apologize. I am loving the CR grinder crew though and have had some 4 sweat sessions in two days which has been great help in how I think about the game. Just wrapped up a 4 hr session by stacking a donk 200BB deep in 100NL which was nice. I had actually just moved to his left looking to get position and isolate. Enough said. I think table selection is a major factor in my success and I always look to get on a donks left otherwise I have to tighten up immensley as they are calling you so frequently. Anyways I have rambled to much. Hope everyone has a great 4th and I will see you on the 5th.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Why do I donk off my chips?

I swear it is just sick sometimes, I know to fold yet I decide to shove or call a shove. I love it when it goes the other way though. Plyed a long session last night with not such wonderful results due to two major malfunctions. How can I plug these leaks?

Hand 1:http://www.pokerhand.org/?1231371 villian is 47/11/0.44 T obe quiet honest I dont know how reliable the aggression factor number really is. There is a great thread on the CR forum about it under theory and there is a link to a great 2p2 thread as well. Anyways I dont know that I like my check raise here. I feel I eithetr should check call or lead the flop and play from there. In any case can I get away from his 3 bet shove? He insta called on the flop which told me he was weak in which case I think my check was poor as if he is drawing I have given him a free card and by betting it I think I have to believe he is made.

Hand 2: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1231387 villian is 61/19/0.72 I chose and unusual line then normal but feel it was actually well played up to my decision based on his reraise. I felt I held the best hand but sometimes and I thought he might hold a weak ace therefore if we both connect I might be able to stack him. Great flop for my hand and I decide to continue playing opossum. Check calling was my 1st mistake I think but not a major one. I like the play actually because I led the turn. The tough thing is I am OOP and I cant be 100% confident that his raise on the turn is with a better hand then mine. I lead the turn actually without seeing how much of a scare card this was. In this case I think the only way he raises my bet is with a hand better then AQ. Is this a clear fold?

Monday, July 2, 2007

I am all sweaty

Loving the sweat sessions I think this will play a major roll in helping the crew improve faster then anything else. Had my first session with Robin, bright kid from Amsterdam. 2 tabled 100NL with some great results. Had a few marginal spots I would like to ask about but nothing really insane happened today.

Hand 1: http://www.pokerhand.org/?1228585 both villians had numbers of donk. Two questions do you lead again on the turn? Also what is the best river line? Check and react or was my blockish lead bet good? I think I agree with Robin here but curious to see what others think.

Hand 2:http://www.pokerhand.org/?1228593 villian is running at 61/0/0.3 over 26 hands. I guess my hand could be good here and checking is an option as I cant defend against a raise. I felt if he called light the Q could be a good scare card to fold a small pair. Do you bet or check on the river and what is your thinking either way.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Day off

I have decided that I will officially take Sundays off every week. The action is not great and it is a great day to do things outside on beautiful summer days. This week is the 1st week of the CRLLGC experiment yet my participation this week will be limited. It is my last week of summer school and I want to be sure and work hard and get everything I need done in order to get my A. I figure to spend most my time around poker reading Sklansky and studying the game and will probably not play more then 15 hours this week. Once I take my final Monday the 7th that is when the games will begin. I hope to set up sweat session with everyone in my crew a after one session awhile back with SirNeb I saw just how powerful of a learning tool it is. The best thing for sweat session is skype. Sorry no hands today but look for 2-3 tomorrow. That is all and I will be talking with yall soon.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

June Recap

Didt quite reach my goal but I tryed my best and that is all I can ask. I had some great days and I had some bad ones too. I mean everyday I am here on this planet is great but I am speaking of my poker playing. My peak was up 1235 on the month and from there in the last two days I dropped down to 645 ending it with a huge comeback tonight. It was my best session yet winning 377 in 3 hours time to end the month up 1009 from playing. With the addition of bonus 550 and approximately 300 in rakeback I didnt do to bad. The best thing is I know I wasnt always playing my best and there is so much room for improvement it is disturbing.

July, this will be my best month as I look to improve on my June results. Rather then set a hand goal I have decided to instead strive for 25+ hours a week. I believe I only reached 25 hours for one week of June so I should get plenty of hands in if I play my desired amount of time. Also, with the CardRunners Low-limit Grind Crew(CRLLGC) in efect this month things should really be taking off. I plan to post two hands minimum on the days I play and comment on each member of my crews blogs. I have also decided that I am more focused when I keep my eyes on one monitor only so until absolute gets resizable tables or I move to another site I will be 4 tabling only. I think I will be playing 1/2 50NL and 1/2 100NL until I am comfortable moving up completely.
BR $3075

I am not rude, I am real.
-Noel

Friday, June 29, 2007

My pregame routine and a not so abstract thought.

Here is the list of 10 things to think about before I play in no particular order.
1. ONLY PLAY WHEN WELL RESTED AND ABLE TO PERFORM AT YOUR BEST.
2. REMEMBER SKLANSKY’S SKILS FOR SUCCESS
-MANIPULATING THE POT SIZE
-ADJUSTING CORRECTLY TO STACK SIZES
-WINNING THE BATTLE OF MISTAKES
-READING HANDS
-MANIPULATING OPPONENTS INTO PLAYING BADLY
3.DON’T BE HUD DEPENDANT; RESPECT YOUR OPPONENTS
4. DON’T BE RESULT ORIENTED
5. TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR INSTINCTS, THEY ARE RIGHT
6. HAVE ODD SHEET INFRONT OF YOU
7. ABC POKER IS ESSENTIAL PICK YOUR SPOTS CAREFULLY
8. USE GOOD TABLE SELECTION
9. POSITION, POSITION, POSITION!
10. NO WHEN TO QUIT.

I will be reading over this eveytime now before I begin a session as well as keeping this open to reread through all my sessions. We can tell ourselves over and over to do something but we still have a tendency to return to our old ways. Hopefully, this will keep me sinc and I will continue growing and developing into a dominant force to be reckoned with at the poker table. I am not sure just yet but am flirting with the idea of moving up but only buying for 100BB an playing 100NL. It seems he fish have moved up due to a badbeat jackpot that just got put into effect at Absolute and it doesnt start till 100NL so alot of fish have jumped up to have their shot at it. Will see.

How abut an abstract thought? I cant remember where I read it but I remeber reading about the power of thoughts and our energy which they release. An example they sed was when you are looking at someone and they can feel it. You know what I mean too. You are checking out someone of the opposite sex appreciating their beauty and all the sudden they turn and look at you. Or you feel someone looking at you and turn and look and sure enough they are. This is the most vivd example of it and we should know that every thought we have in some way releses energy into the world wether good or bad is up to you. Are you a positive thinker enjoying all the amazing things in your life and giving thanks or are you negative? Like The Secret says everything you have right now and where you are right now in life you chose. Do you like the choices you have made? If so, sweet deal keep doing what your doing. If not choose to change.

Quick BR update $2963 with 235 dollars of reload bonus pending. Just got another 200 today, which makes 550 for the month. not to shabby. One last quick thought, as my results continue to improve and I become less dependant on rakeback as a part of my monthly slary I plan on opening an IRA and depositing my rakeback into it every month for my retirment.

I am not rude, I am real.
-Noel

Brain fart

That is what I had yesterday when I decided to play poker off of my game. I had only gotten 6 hours a sleep th night before and was feeling super tired but rather then taking a nap or just not playing I convinced myself to, big mistake. When I play not fully rested I become the old player I used to be. making quick decsion ased on nothing. Not even ignoring my instincts but rather my instincts are completely not there. Also my aggresive play becomes passive, calling raises and check calling down with PP. Due to this, I have decided to create a short of checklist that I must abide to prior to playing. I havent written it yet but I will post it when I do. As poor as I played, and I know my loss yesterday is due to my bad play, I had two major coolers that if they had gone the other way I break even. AA vs KK I get it all in preflop and flop comes K22. LOL, that was just sick. Then here is the hand that I need some help from my crew on. Over 30 hands villian is 40/6.7/0.6 http://www.pokerhand.org/?1218886 another problem I have when I play off my game s I see 35 or higher on their VPIP and I just think donk and try and move them off every hand. This is a major spew of my chips. Thinking back over this hand I really dont see how I get away from it because I see him shoving a 8 here, the real question is should I fold preflop? I almost mucked it until I saw I was getting 5-1 on my money.

So the hair has been cut. I am now rocking a pretty savage mohawk with a tail. Words cant due it proper justice. I will write more later toady.

I am not rude I am reall-Noel

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Changes

My blog is going to be a little more poker oriented in July. You may have noticed the new list. This is a month long experiment a group of poker players from a training site I subscribe to are undertaking. It consists of playing poker and then posting the hands that challenged you each day and discussing them with one another in an attempt to think more in depth about how we play the game and why we make certain decisions. All the greats in poker have had a core group that they have developed their skills with and hopefully this will become my core unit and together we will become the next poker greats. In no way do I personally want publicity or fame but to be noticed by the poker community as someone who has established himself as a force would be nice. Therefore my blog will contain 2 if not 3 hand histories for my crew to read and comment on as well as any of my faithful readers to observe too.

On another note I will be changing my hair. Tomorrow at 10am I will be getting my first haircut of 07. Its insane how long I have gone without one. Ah, the luxuries of being your own boss.

Now one of my many abstract thoughts. I have not done nor do I plan on doing any research on this topic but I was wondering why clocks and a way of keeping track of time was created? I know it goes way way back but in this day and age I am doubtful time is seen in the same light as when it was being developed. Why 60 minutes in an hour? Why not 300? In reality I started thinking that time has become a way to control us. Dwell on that!

I almost forgot, yesterday I made my 1st cash withdrawal using my epassporte card. $600 cash from my poker BR is now in my bank account. After this withdrawal and my play yesterday my BR rests at $3220 with 75 pending bonus dollars. Also on my path towards my goal I have slowed way down and currently have played a total of 24655 hands. It looks like I will fall short but it ain't over yet.

I am not rude, I am real.
- Noel

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I got an A!

Thats right, studying pays. I decided to do nothing but study all day yesterday and it payed off. I am stoked. Wasnt going to play cards last night as I was pretty tired but after watching some poker videos and surfing the forums I was awake and ready and had a nice little 2 hr session to start the week off right up $150 or so. Just got done with a session today played 3 hrs and made like $5 woohooo! I just made some plain terrible decisions and bluffes off $75 on one hand. Its funny because I want to move up yet my numbers at the lower stake for this month are the best to date. I am playing 2 tables of each and sometimes adding a fifth of the lower. I feel this is the best way for me to slowly move up without to much risk. Also I think I am going to play a litle tighter at the higher stakes as it seems there are a lot more aggressive morons who are willing to pay you off and there really is no need or way to push them off a hand. So after writing my post yesterday I get the news that I have a game to go to. I bought two six packs for the Giants this year. At the time I was stoked on sports, maybe all the games I have gone to is one of the reasons for the sour tatste in my mouth. Sorry I know this is a very boring blog but I am tired. Yall be good now OK.

BR$3674 and growing

Monday, June 25, 2007

Whats the deal with professional sports?

To be quite honest I have lost my interest in professional sports in a major way. Don't get me wrong I enjoy going to a ball game and will always love my NY Yankees but something is different now. I see professional sports as what they are. A gigantic ripoff of the American people and a sad way to take our minds off of more important things. I have fallen victim to this trap for too long. I do everything in my power to spend the least bit of money I can at the ballpark. I stick to reading the box score the next day as much as possible. I wont ever quit watching all together and believe me nothing will replace tailgating before a game or BBQing and watching a game, but there is some love lost. I say stop paying athletes so dam much and start paying are educators that much more. We all complain about high gas prices among other things yet we are more then willing to stroll up to a beer vendor and pay the price we normally pay for a six pack for one beer. WTF? The only true positive to be taken from the game is that these professionals are truly living the dream, they are working the job they want and desire. We all should take this attitude.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Brief

It has been a long weekend and I have a ton of studying to do for my big test tomorrow. I had a great weekend though. Looks like the Yankees got wooped by the Giants. I think this is the year I have been waiting for. Kind of like the 49ers in a sense. We are lousy. All are off season moves stunk and it shows. Hopefully we miss the playoffs completely and come back next year with avengence. Havent played much poker. Got in 2 2hr sessions yesterday. 1st session was great and the 2nd not so great. I made some bad decisions in my 2nd session and had one lousy suck out to lose a 100 dollar pot. After starting the week on a down swing I ended in the green. I have an insane amount of hands left to reach my goal of 40K. BR$ 3485, I did pick up another $150 in bonus cash which is nice. It will be slowly getting released into my account over the week as I play. That makes $350 this month just from bonuses, not bad.