Eye openeing

RE: Downward spiral

I cant explain exactly what I was feeling or why but what it was wasnt good. I had been real down on the world in general and looking at things from a half full perspective. When my insane downswong occured it made me take a step back and rethink my thinking. Usually the tone of my blogs is upbeat and optimistic. This is how I try and see the world otherwise why the fuck live, really. I wasnt doing that early last week. I was down on society and the world around me.

Sometimes I shelter myself to much from the world around me. To be honest I have no fucking clue what is going on in the news anymore. I basically live eat and breathe poker when I am not spending time with my girlfriend and her son. It isnt a bad life, slightly unbalanced yes.

I have decided to start doing a few extra things for me besides just poker. In order to excel at poker like I desire I must commit a good amount of my time to both playing and studying. This does not mean it must dictate my life and keep me from enjoying social events and interacting with my friends and loved ones. All work and no play isnt fun.

Ok so basically I lost my train of thought. What I am trying to say is I need to get back to being positive win, lose or draw. Poker results shouldnt ever dictate my mood, good or bad. Its just work. yes I am happy when I do my job well. To be honest though I should always be doing my job well and even when I do it excellent I still might lose.

Outside of poker I need to enjoy every moment of every day to its fullest. I remeber once I posted that life is about having fun. If you arent having any what the fuck are you doing? If I was born to be miserable and feel like shit all the time then I might as well buy a gun and end it. That is the truth too. This life is way to short to not enjoy every fucking minute of it. I am so guilty of allowing myself to forget this concept. Hopefully by writing it here it will stay in the front of my mind.

To sum it up. Suck it up! Life is only as good or bad as you make it. Remember you choose your path, choose the fun one. I dont care who you are, where you are, or what your life is like right now. You are the only one who has the power to make it better. Choose to live like a King or Queen. You deserve it.