I love my life. Honestly I do. When I was young I battled with depression and lack of true motivation to live. I struggled to understand why we are here. I saw the worker bees gridning through a week just to make the weekend and then wake up and do it all again. Oh they get there 2 weeks vacation once a year, if you can call it vacation. This wasnt what I wanted from life. Us as humans were not put here for that reason. I dont know the reason. If you ask me I truly appreciate the Indain way of life. I cant say I truly know it but they lived off the land and were in harmony with mother Earth.
Currently I have found an occupation which allows me to do what I want when I want, for the most part. Also I have come to a great understanding of myself and the game of poker. If you look back on this and my other blogs there is a direct correlation between alchol and my best and worst months. August I didnt drink at all and I killed it. September I started drinking again and I got killed. I dont directly blame alchol but rather myself. Alchol weakens the brain and in order to excel at poker you need mental strength. If you cant stay strong mentally when the cards are going against you cant succeed at poker. This game is about mental toughness and making proper decisions that will have a profitable result in the long run. Mental weakness can take over and cause you to become results oriented and seek instant gratification. This isnt what poker is about. I have been boozing this month with mixed results and it wasnt till I had my breakthrough that I have decided to keep a close eye on my consumption.
October has been a great month starting with me hitting a 5.6K badbeat jackpot on the site I play at. This gave me a big bosst of confidence because I instantly had a huge bankroll and could take a shot at 200NL again without fearing losing. Since taking my second shot I have won back the 10BI's I dropped last month and then some and am feeling very confident in my ability to play winning poker at that stake. I look forward to continue success at 200NL with 400NL right around the corner. I apologize for the randomness of this post but that is how my mind works.
BR $13500<---from $100 deposited in late Feb.
First blog post
10 years ago
1 comment:
Great post Noel. I really enjoyed reading this and found it very similar to some of my thoughts. I'm not quiet as spiritual (hippy!) as you are, but I still have a lot of the same feelings it seems.
The alcohol thing is a big thing too. Even a day or two after you can still be affected from having a night out. Now that I'm playing for my keep I've cut down a hell of a lot, and I actually prefer my life this way as I feel more healthy the majorioty of the time.
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