Tao Te Ching

If you over steem great men,
people become powerless.
If you overvalue possessions,
people begin to steal.

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion in those who think that they know.

Practice not-doing
and everything will fall into place.

Try that shit on for size! When you take a real close look at these words and make an attempt to apply them to the modern world at first it may seem like a joke when in reality there is so much truth. I am not the know all end all of Tao and nor do I pretend that I understand what it is that is being said in each passage. What I do know is that each individual will interpret the words and apply a meaning to them which coincides with their life. In are society where noone ever stops and breathes to practice not-doing is uimaginable in its literal sense but there is much merit to this idea.

My interpritation is that we as a people give to much power to material things and allow them to drive us in life. In truth it is fucking disgusting. I am not innocent. I too desire beautiful things. Who doesnt? Allowing material objects to become the driving force in your life will allow them to control your well being. True happiness isnt having everything you wish for, its wishing for nothing and having everything. "Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place."

Its been too long.

I havent posted in ages and to be quite frank I feel I have lost that positive edge I was carrying around. I dont quite know where it went. As I write this I think it might have to actually do with drinking again. Sounds kinda crazy but everything in my world was on the up and up. Cards were running great, was gearing up for my last semester at school and then I started drinking again. Crads feel to shit and I opted to take the semster off. Quincidence? Mayeb, maybe not. Either way there is no excuse for me behavior and my lack of positivity. Do I have everything I could ever want in life? Of course not but who the f%$k does anyways. For me life is still pretty sweet and I know with the proper frame of mind I can do what ever I want and achieve whatever it is I want.

This month has been my toughest month of poker yet and this could have a lot to do with my struggles spiritually as well. Its truly a challenge to stay positive and up beat when the cards run as bad as they have. For those who arent in the know about poker I will display one of the many evil hands I have run into this month for your viewing pleasure. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1513877 It is doubly devastating that my struggles have occured as I attempted to make a move up. What that means it that basically all my wins and of course loses double in value. I dont doubt for one minute my ability to beat the next level and will continue to make shots. At the same time it is demoralizing to move up and play your best only to have 22-1 long shot spike his 2 outer on the river for an $800 pot.

With all the crying done I will have you know that even though it may sound like I am losing my house I am actually ahead for the month in all aspects of my line of work. I have several sources of income besides the raw earnings from my play. I have begun coaching a fellow player at a rate of 25 an hour with 4hrs of coaching a week. Also I have done a solid amount of relaod and RB. My bank roll as actually grown while I have suffered the toughest dry spell of my career. Current BR standing, $9367. That is +$1914 from my last BR post on 8/27 so not so bad at all.

Throughout my journey I have continued to set goals for myself and yet I have continually failed. I am not a failure. I will succeed at poker, life, and above all being happy. From this moment forward my goal is to play poker to the best of my ability and not allow the outcome of individual hands effect my emotions. I will dedicate 4 hours a day to playing poker and another 2 to some form of study of the game. I will continue my gym routine and add in some solid cardio. I will get back on track with my eating habbits. I will lighten my alcohol intake. Please pause for I must open a nice cold beer(Kamahl you had Anchor Summer Brew?) ah cold beer. Anyways I dont know precisely where this is going but I havent written forever and that could be another thing. This blog has helped me in a major way and I have neglected it. I love you blog. Please take me back. I thank you faithful reader if you have reached this point ansd please pray that next time I get it in best I hold.

August stats...

see new poker blog. Link on top left.

Another blog

Well hey if you cant maintian one or two or three, why not add a fourth. Peep the link on the left. Oh and I have updated my 65BB blog. Take a peek.

StevePavlina.com

Amazing web site, equally amazing guy. This is from an article he wrote on time managment.

"The word "enthusiasm" comes from the Greek entheos, which means literally, "the god within." I really like that definition. I doubt it's possible to master the art of time management if you aren't gushingly enthusiastic about what you're going to do with your time. Go after what really inspires you. Don't chase money. Chase your passion. If you aren't enthusiastic about your work, then you're wasting your life. Switch to something else. Consider a new career altogether. Don't beat yourself up if your current career has become stale. Remember that failure is your friend. Listen to that god within you, and switch to something that excites you once again. The worst waste of time is doing something that doesn't make you happy. Your work should serve your life, not the other way around."

I highlighted the last two sentences because I think that is some powerful stuff. Check out his website. http://www.stevepavlina.com

Quick update

Life is fucking beautiful! I decided that rather then take the spring semester off from college I would take fall off instead. Now I can focus 100% on what I am passionate about at the moment, poker. Have been way busy trying to get moved in to my new house and out of the old. Hope to be all done with the old place after today which will be nice. The new house kicks ass too. I have my own office where I will be working aka playing poker from. The diet has been going great except I kinda cheated this weekend when I boozed and ate the most food ever in one sitting. Went to a Volpis here in town which is this old Italian restaurant i beleiev where the servings are insane. If you order family style you get; soup, salad, pasta, and then your main course which comes with veggies and polenta. I felt like taking my main course to go I was so full when it got to me. Also you get ice cream and coffee. So fucking crazy. On Friday when I hopped on the scale I was down to 202 from 213. That is 11lbs in 5 weeks and I am packing on muscle too. If your lucky or not so lucky I guess I might post some before and afters as I had my girlfriend take phootos of me at the beginning and will have her take two more at the end of this week. I think it will be interesting to see the difference after 6 weeks. Lastly thought I would throw a quick poker update. After the decision to form a new poker crew my game has taken off. I havent been playing as much as I would like and probably never will but I have been playing my A game almost every session and the results have shown. I am currently turning in my best month yet and look to continue improving as I move up the ranks. I will be moving up to the next highest level sometime early next month as my BR grows. I have slowed my growth due to withdrawing money but I feel it is necessary in order to see and feel my accomplishment as well as pay the bills. Shit as Dice says " I got kids in the rain."

BR-$7453

I fell off!

Well I didnt quite make it to the end of August but i think I did about 30 days. Was at the Rage show and decided to have some brews as it seemed the right thing to do. I got a solid buzz off about 5 or 6 heineken. Then Sunday I had a 22 of Sierra. Oh and I had a few heineken yesterday as it was super hot and I was moving. My landlord had some beer in the fridge and said I could help myself so I did. The diet is still intact though and I will be consuming very carefully. No more insano all night binge and blackout nights for Mr. Rafalo. The new house is kick ass yet it isnt complete quite yet. Last update, I have opted to take the fall off from the JC and focus on the game of Poker. I feel this will be best as i need a break and I have been doing well at poker but without a complete dedication to the game. Once I am set up at the new house poker will be my focus and I will be doing big things. Later for now.