Za future!

Though I think a strict schedule can fuck me up I need to set some sort of outline for my daily living. Basically i want to start getting out of bed by 7am which gives me 2 hours with my son before school.

9am I will come home and go on a walk/bike ride/jog.
10am Snack and study the pokers.
11am M/W/F Gym for some weights.
12-4pm The pokers! Obviously with lunch and some breaks mixed in. Hopefully be able to log 800-1k hands.

4-8pm Hang with the fam.
8pm-Bedtime Poker/sweats/wifey time.


There it is! The times are just a rough guide.

Theme of my life?

Not sure if that or even this makes sense. Basically I have concluded while on a walk in the rain today that I am in fact my own worst enemy. I imagine we all can say this but for my chosen life/profession it is insanely spot on. After an insane amount of hands under my belt it is rare that I dont know when to fold because I am beat yet countless times I find myself clicking call or jamming all my chips in. Combine that little leak with tilt and we have a major problem on our hands. Might explain my return to 100NL. The truth is I am glad I am at 100NL because I must overcome these barriers before I am deserving of playing higher. The best part, I feel I am very fucking close.

Besides poker I am my own worst enemy in the health department too. Fuck me I mean I have been blogging about this shit for too fucking long. Its time to sack up and be a man. Time to stop making excuses and start owning this world. Only I can do it. World watch the fuck out!

Here is a fine example of a spot where I think folding the flop is the obvious play. Funny thing is I had seen this 40/10 do this one time before VS a different villain and thought to myself "what a donk I bet he had QQ+" Then he does it to me and I am like well this is the 2nd time I have seen him do this in the session, I have FD I ARRRRRIN Terrible really!

$0.5/$1 No Limit Holdem
5 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

Hero (UTG)		($182.37)
CO		($107.98)
BTN		($182.70)
SB		($150.13)
BB		($108.32)

Pre-flop: ($1.50, 5 players) Hero is UTG

Hero raises to $3.50, CO raises to $7, 2 folds, BB calls $6, Hero calls $3.50

Flop: ($21.50, 3 players)
BB checks, Hero checks, CO bets $21.50, BB folds, Hero raises to $175.37, CO calls $79.48

Turn: ($297.85, 2 players)

River: ($297.85, 2 players)

Final Pot: $297.85
Hero shows:
CO shows:

Hero wins $74.39 ( lost -$107.98 )
CO wins $219.96 ( won +$111.98 )
BB lost -$7

Why?

Why in gods name do I play poker? Honestly the real reason I started playing poker was because I realized that unlike black jack and other casino games this was one where you could actually create an edge and win by being better then everyone else. After realizing that I bought 3 books off amazon and started the grind at 3/6 limit holdem. I never really fell for no limit when everyone else was because I was a NIT and had a real hard time testing people with big bets. It wasnt till CR that I realized I could crush at no limit.

Fast forward to today and I play poker to earn a living. The thing is I have been having a real hard time feeling like a success since July of 08. Basically at that time I became complacent and just played without given much though to my game. While others were continuing to improve and try new things I slowly fell behind the curve. Here in lies my question. What can I do to fix it?

Though I was 6 tabling with a fair amount of success in Jan. the same hasnt been the case this month. I think it is time to revert back to the old less is more approach. The other thing which has plagued me as of late is the results checking. I have played 4 straight losing sessions since I returned to checking results mid session.

I can cry and blame bad luck but then I would just be another chump as fish. It is time to face the music and fix my leaks. Wiht that said I will be playing out Feb without viewing my results. Also I am limiting my tables to 4 with each session having one aspect of my game to focus on.

Boo fucking who

Probably not the correct spelling but who cares. my last post was a little whiny bitch post about how hard my life is, well I am here to tell you it isnt. I havent had a to punch in or take orders from a boss since April 2007. Tough life right? Fuck no it aint. I love this life I live. At times it is difficult due to the nature of my work and just the nature of me. I have always wanted to just be settled in, family, job, house. Truth be told is that really what I want? Well yes and no. I love my family but I dont know if I want some 9-5 M-F job just working for the weekends. When I allow poker to become that it starts to suck. This month I allowed that to happen again.


NEW PLAN:Dedicate yourself to a continuous cycle of analysis and improvement.

This is one of the 7 elements of the poker mindset and one that is most important. It is time to realize I dont know everything, in truth I fucking suck. From this day forward I will not play any poker till I have spent at least 1 hour reviewing/studying the game.

My goal is to finish February strong and be prepared to start taking shots at 200NL. I will then return to 50k hand plan. Basically I will play 200NL for no less then 50k hands before i consider taking a shot at 400NL. I intend to be back at 400NL by May and book my 1st $20k month by July. During this time I will also be giving considerable to thought to my future as a poker player.

Rounders

WARNING: Large amounts of whining ahead!!!


Watched it last night and I realized something. The line in the opening scene where he talks about poker becoming a grind, I have hit that wall. Poker has just lost something for me. poker is awesome when the cards fall my way and I dont find myself in fucked spot after fucked spot. But when that isnt happening I hate poker. I just find myself worrying about my future and what it will bring for me and my family. Sometimes I feel like poker is just a huge fucking luck sack game. Truth be told I dont know what the fuck is happening. I am back to those gross feelings of last year. Basically I feel an urgency to win money and attach myself to every outcome. The funny thing is whenever I feel like this everything just falls apart. The cards just pile on top of me and own me. This was the last hand of my session as I am closing the tables just now. I literally think to myself how am I going to lose this one when the flop came.

$0.5/$1 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG		($58.15)
Hero (UTG+1)		($110.90)
CO		($66.10)
BTN		($254.20)
SB		($75.00)
BB		($70.60)

Pre-flop: ($1.50, 6 players) Hero is UTG+1

1 fold, Hero raises to $4, 2 folds, SB calls $3.50, BB calls $3

Flop: ($12, 3 players)
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $9, SB calls $9, BB folds

Turn: ($30, 2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $21, SB calls $21

River: ($72, 2 players)
SB checks, Hero checks

Final Pot: $72
SB shows:
Hero shows:

SB wins $68.50 ( won +$34.50 )
BB lost -$4
Hero lost -$34


Anyways good news is I did cash out my monthly 3k and still have 100+ BI for 100NL. I decided today that I really need to start putting some thought into my future in poker and consider setting some goals again. Currently I have no goals and I think it is hurting my growth.

On shaky ground

Things have been just blah poker wise. I was away for the start of Feb and just went on grind mode Tues to today. Played 9k+ hands but made like no monies. I feel that old me coming back, the guy who yells at his computer and gets aggravated by regs. I guess the best thing is I am identifying it now i just need to figure how to regain my composure. It is insane how sometimes everything just sucks. Like every big PP gets into a fucked spot. Sets get cracked etc etc. Poker is a crazy ass game. I think the biggest key for me is remaining in the long term and not rushing things. This week I was like I need to play. The truth is I just need to play my A-game. I made way to many calls when I knew I shouldnt. Folding is fun! NOT! But it makes money.

Life wise things are great. The wifey's job is starting to pay better and my kid is killing it at preschool. I havent had a drink since Feb 8th and my weight is dropping again. 226lbs today.

Hope everyone is well.

Disappointed...

in myself diet wise. I went on a huge downswing and just started drinking a six pack a night and eating crap every day for like the last week. Think I gained it all back. Anyways my GF's G-pa passed away so I had to travel to LA for the funeral. Not the best excuse but I guess it is something. Speaking of deaths there is this crazy stretch ion the drive called the Grape Vine. On this stretch it was pouring rain and I had little to no tread on my tires my car was losing traction left and right, longest and scariest stretch of road I have ever driven.

Poker is going good when I am at the tables though I feel like I continue to leave monies on the tables in spots where I shouldnt be. one thing I am feeling great about though is getting thin/small value in spots where I used to just try and get to showdown. Grinded like no hands in Feb but hopefully I will nail 10k hands a week for the next 3.

making a personal challenge to myself to quit the drinky for 30 days. I am going to a concert tonight which should rock. Last time I saw this guy I seriously got teary eyed his music is that powerful. This will be my last night drinking for thirty. Hopefully this will help me not only drop some weight but grind.

Standard call down.

$0.5/$1 No Limit Holdem
5 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG		($90.65)
CO		($218.40)
Hero (BTN)		($143.25)
SB		($61.65)
BB		($249.60)

Pre-flop: ($1.50, 5 players) Hero is BTN

UTG calls $1, 1 fold, Hero raises to $5, 2 folds, UTG calls $4

Flop: ($11.50, 2 players)
UTG bets $11.50, Hero calls $11.50

Turn: ($34.50, 2 players)
UTG bets $34.50, Hero calls $34.50

River: ($103.50, 2 players)
UTG bets $39.65, Hero calls $39.65

Final Pot: $182.80
Hero shows:
UTG shows:

Hero wins $179.80 ( won +$89.15 )
UTG lost -$90.65